This morning's ☕ coffee thoughts:
A lot has been changing lately -- my roles have all dissolved, my identity has dissolved ... & while that was a super uncomfortable process, it was 1000% necessary. I was taking myself too seriously in all the wrong ways. I was allowing the shadow of my past to dictate to me who I was (& really believing in it too) in the present moment & it was creating extreme unhappiness in my life. I could see it... I knew it was happening... but I didn't know how to address it. & the truth is maybe there was no right way to address it -- with how long I had let things pile up, the mess was big & I had to accept the fact that I need to do something equally huge & drastic to even begin to clean it up. I need space from my family. I need time to rest, heal, cry, be angry, be sad, be broken & pick it all up & put it back together for myself because I want to *for myself*. It's not enough to do all the hard internal work so that I can just throw it all away the second I get back into a partnership. I have to be self-motivated & self-driven & ready to do all of this for ME so that I can be the person that I actually am for the people who actually want to be in my life. When I stop doing the work for myself, I fall apart because I know at the root of everything there is only the SELF. God is reflected in every single one of us & if you neglect yourself -- you neglect God. I have a lot more healing to do, but I just wanted to share this piece of my journey with the hopes that it helps someone else on their journey. I am no longer allowing my shadow-self (my "not-me" self that was imposed onto me by the outside world) to decide my life for me -- I choose to SIT WITH & LISTEN TO my shadow-self & let it INFORM me on how to better care for myself & others as I move forward -- because within that pain, is the wisdom that I need to solve everything & I will no longer turn away from that wisdom out of fear.
I am taking clients for reiki & tarot & crystal grids & if you feel called to check out my patreon the link is in the bio. 😌🔮🦋
Thank you for your time & I hope you live your best life!!